Margaret Dumont — Could You “Take It”? (1934) 🇺🇸

Margaret Dumont and Groucho Marx (1929) | www.vintoz.com

September 21, 2024

Margaret Dumont has been on the receiving end of more Marx mauling than she can remember.

by Barbara Barry

Harpo wrestles with her. Groucho throws her for a ten-yard loss. Chico rides across the set on the train of her Patou model. And, when they can’t think of anything else, they all climb in her lap and make collective love to the lady.

For five years, the Marx maniacs have been giving this girl a big hand — as well as an occasional foot — in the interest of good, clean fun. It’s a rough life, mates, but Miss Dumont loves it because it is never monotonous. If you’ve ever watched the four brothers cavort, that last crack goes without saying.

Groucho calls her “Tootsie.” Harpo cuts it to “Toots.” But Chico and Zeppo get along with just plain “Maggie,” much to the stately Miss Dumont’s amusement.

At the time of her introduction to the Marx boys, Miss Dumont had definitely given up the stage to fill a more important role as the wife of one of New York’s wealthiest clubmen.

Previous to her marriage, she had acted as foil to such celebrated comedians as Lew Fields, and others. Sam Harris, the w.-k. Broadway producer, was so favorably impressed with her dignified “stooging” that, when the Marx Brothers came to him for aid in securing the services of a capable “straight” woman, he immediately sent for Miss Dumont.

The boys liked her, gave her a contract, and rehearsals for The Cocoanuts got under way. And what a way!

“Every rehearsal was different,” Miss Dumont smiled reminiscently. “I knew my lines, all right, but I might as well have been quoting The Face on the Barroom Floor, for all the attention those lunatics paid to the script!

“The opening night arrived and I was absolutely horrified! I went to Groucho and begged him to give me a coherent idea of the routine he intended to use. ‘At least,’ I argued, ‘give me my cues!’

“‘Don’t expect any cues from me!’ he replied cheerfully. ‘It’s every man for himself!’ and he patted me on the shoulder before dashing out on the stage.

“The time came for my entrance, and while the four of them romped about the stage, ad libbing hilariously, I stood in the wings with shaking knees. I strained my ears for some semblance of a cue. None came.

Minutes ticked off. I had to get on, but… how? Finally, in desperation, I took the bull by the horns, walked on and simply forced myself in, somehow. It worked perfectly. Harpo dashed off in pursuit of another blonde, Chico and Zeppo disappeared, and Groucho and I had the center of the stage.

“What he was going to say, or do, I had not the slightest idea. ‘Ah, Mrs. Rittenhouse,’ he said grandly, gesturing toward a wicker settee. ‘Won’t you… er, lie down?’

“The audience went into hysterics! It was a good thing, too, because the prolonged laughter gave me an opportunity to get my bearings. That scene was the comedy highlight of the show. And it was as new to me as it was to the audience. Groucho had made up every word of it as he went along!”

But unexpected “gagging” is by far the least of Miss Dumont’s troubles.

At the climax of a torrid love scene, in Cocoanuts, Groucho wrapped his leg around the dignified lady’s ankles and tried vainly to upset her. Somehow, she managed to keep her footing. But, Groucho vowed that before the season was over she was doomed to bite the dust.

“Right up until the last performance, I had the best of him in that particular struggle,” she said. “And then, just at the last, he did it. Perhaps I was over-confident, or, possibly he caught me unaware. Anyhow, I went down, with a very undignified thud!

“I don’t think Groucho really expected it, either. He stood there looking down at me, absolutely speechless, and with tears running down his cheeks from suppressed laughter!

“When the scene was finished, I didn’t say a word. Just walked away from him and up to my dressing room. He followed, apologizing between chuckles.

“‘Tootsie,’ he insisted, ‘that was an accident. I didn’t think I could do it. Honest, Tootsie, I swear it was my new shoes!”

Do you remember the scene at the bridge game with Harpo and Chico, that ends in a free-for-all?

“Every time we played that scene, Harpo managed to throw me about four feet. One night, I threw first, and down he went! It was very pretty. Climbing back on his feet, he rushed for me and we went into a clinch.

“‘Gosh, Toots!’ he hissed over my shoulder. ‘Don’t be so rough!’”

Harpo, Miss Dumont assures me, is the most mischievous of the lot. One evening, he received an unexpected invitation to a masquerade. It was too late to rent a costume and he wanted to go badly. What to do?

After the show, Miss Dumont went to her dressing room to change into street clothes. There were no street clothes. Immediately realizing what had happened, she grabbed a dressing gown and dashed out. Harpo, wearing her dress, hat, and slippers, was just hurrying out the stage door!

“Harpo!” she called excitedly. “You come back here! My dress…!”

“Yeh,” the culprit grinned with beautiful nonchalance. “It’s a little long, isn’t it? But it’ll do. Thanks.” And he kept on his merry way.

“Come back here!” she begged. “What do you suppose I’m going to wear home?”

“You’ve got a fur coat, haven’t you?” Harpo tossed over his shoulder. “That’ll cover you. Don’t be fussy, Toots.” And he was gone. Leaving the statuesque Miss Dumont to get home as best she could, wearing a flimsy pair of wardrobe pumps and with nothing but a lacy slip under the none-too-long fur coat!

“I can’t get angry with them,” she confided, as we sat in her dressing room on the Paramount lot. “They’re just like a bunch of school boys. Not in the least malicious. Everything they do is in the spirit of fun and I always try to be a good sport, even though I generally get the worst of it. Honestly, I enjoy every minute of it!”

They were rehearsing a scene in Duck Soup, their most recent production. Groucho is on his knees before Miss Dumont, proposing to her — as he usually is. Chico enters, looking for Groucho.

“Oh… there you are!” Chico explains. And, during the several rehearsals, Groucho merely turned quickly, giving the intruder a startled look.

But, in the recorded shot, at Chico’s “Oh… there you are!” Groucho took a flying jump into Miss Dumont’s lap, nearly knocking the surprised lady over.

Everyone on the set doubled up in soundless hysterics. But one member of the crew could not contain himself. He turned loose a rousing guffaw that nearly shattered the sound mechanism and, of course, ruined the take.

Life, on a Mad Marx Brothers’ production, is just full of those things.

Not all the horseplay occurs on the set, however. When they were coming out from New York, they kept the entire train in an uproar.

One evening, Miss Dumont was in her drawing room, preparing to retire, when the door burst open and three of the pajama-ed brothers, Groucho, Harpo and Chico, fell in. Ignoring the lady’s protests, they all piled into her single berth and settled themselves for the night!

Tootsie begged, pleaded, cajoled, and even called in a porter but, through it all, the harum-scarum brothers snored away peacefully.

“When they make up their minds to cut a caper,” Miss Dumont raised helpless hands, “you might as well resign yourself to the inevitable! Cross them and they only redouble their efforts!”

The Duck Soup company rented a beautiful Pasadena estate for some impressive exterior shots in the picture. The wealthy and genteel owner kept a watchful eye on proceedings, from a safe distance.

Between shots, Miss Dumont and Groucho rested in two comfortable chairs on the verandah. Suddenly, Groucho flung a leg across Tootsie’s knees.

“Scratch my leg!” he murmured wearily.

At the other end of the verandah, the owner observed the indignity with amazed eyes.

“If I had refused,” Tootsie deplored, “Groucho would simply have shouted: ‘What’s the idea? You’ve scratched it before. Don’t be coy, Tootsie!’ So — I scratched it!”

Her embarrassment was not lessened in the least, when she heard the dignified owner remark to a servant:

“You see what’s going on over there? That’s why show people have such bad reputations!”

A great many people are under the impression that Miss Dumont is Groucho’s wife. Such is not the case. When the company made a personal appearance in Detroit, a local paper carried an article verifying their “marriage,” in private life.

That night, Miss Dumont, commenting on the story, remarked that it was a trifle embarrassing.

“Embarrassing?” Groucho exclaimed. “I’ve just written a story about my wife and the magazine’s running a picture of her. I’m liable to be hung for bigamy!”

Miss Dumont wouldn’t change places with Greta Garbo. Life, with the Marx Brothers is, verily, a psychopathic shambles. But — thanks to a grand sense of humor — she can take it!